While strolling through the park on my way to work last week, I saw a young couple holding hands and conversing. Soon afterwards it dawned on me that I could not remember what it felt like to hold someone else’s hand in my own. Granted, it may seem like a silly concept because I can, of course, hold my own hand and call it a day. However, we can all agree the couple I saw at the park were engaging and experiencing, whether they were conscious of it or not, something much more. We can also all agree that jacking yourself off or fingering yourself is much different than when someone else does it for you. After all, a handjob is nothing more than a transcendent form of masturbation – if you find the right person that is.
This has been a difficult realization to escape from. In fact, if someone were to hold my hand right now, I believe my first instinct would be to reject it or recoil in some way unless I initiated the action. Have you ever hugged someone who’s rarely touched or hugged? Their body generally stalls at the moment of embrace. This is a common fear of people who’ve been single for a while. The fear of being awkward when it counts in moments you previously were able to show off your suaveness. It’s my assumption this fear is most popular among men. And why not? Women expect a high level of debonair and confidence. Unfortunately, we can’t all deliver – even if we have the ability.
Regardless, we single folks have to keep on trying until we once again are gratified with myriad transcendent handjobs :p
– Single Guy in NYC