Nice Guys vs Bad Guys (what’s really going on)

The question: Why is it that assholes seem to stumble across serendipitous circumstances but soldiers of morality are burdened by sharp vicissitudes of fortune? In other words, what’s with the jerks getting all the luck?

It’s simple; this popular question is one sided. What’s the other side? Attitude. Your run of the mill a-hole has no shame, thus, much less fear. To them, women at bars aren’t revered, beautiful potential love interests but – quite the contrary – drunk bitches who want some D. Hell, they need a man (preferably them) but just don’t know it yet. Now, who is more likely to talk to the cute blonde sipping on her martini when her friend goes to the bathroom? The conscientious guy or the imprudent guy? Whom is less likely to worry about sexual chemistry as they reach to hold the girl’s hand as they go in for a kiss (and not a peck either)?

Single Guy in NYC
Let me tell you a true story to illustrate my point that this has nothing to do with luck. My friend’s roommate, Joe, is known to all his buddies as a tall, slick, although sometimes aloof, character who is seldom comme il faut. He has a unique sense of fortitude when it comes to rejection and, most likely because of this, is respected most by his male friends. Although Joe is currently in an exclusive long term relationship, he ascertained that one woman just wasn’t enough and it was time to get back out on the scene. Without his girlfriend knowing, he signed up for every dating/hookup site in the city and was rewarded with date after date. Simplifying this in one paragraph makes his endeavor seem facile but I assure you his effort was double mine, and I’ve been dateless for close to a year now. This provides him with two advantages, which he is ultimately aware of:

1) Double dipping. Since he has more than one love interest, it doesn’t matter as much if his faithful girlfriend dumps his ungrateful ass.
2) Not only has he reinstated the skill of approaching others but he’s constantly refining it. Most men claim to “lose their touch” after being hastily flung into the single life again. Joe, the a-hole that he is, has circumvented this sentiment.

As I said before in my previous post, chivalry is dead and it deserved to die. To be clear, everyone is to blame; from the girl crying on her nice guy-friend’s shoulder about her jerk boyfriend saying, “I wish I could find someone like you” (but not you, of course) to the guy refusing to open a door for a lady because he hates feminism. What it comes down to is that no one wants somebody with the personality of an area rug nor somebody like Joe (if seeking an exclusive companion). Fear is a crippling hindrance and it seems like the best people I know embrace that oppression, including me. This is why I greatly admire Joe’s incorrigible fortitude. Fighting abjection in the trenches of the single life is not a joy to anyone when you exert so much effort to change your status. Yet, he rolls with the punches, smiles gleefully as he eats dirt then dusts himself off after he rises just to spin the wheel again and again.

All in all, my hat’s off to you Joe. And I hope your lady castrates you with a pair of blunt scissors when she finds out.

-Single Guy in NYC


6 thoughts on “Nice Guys vs Bad Guys (what’s really going on)

    • I’m sure it’ll catch up to him and who knows? Maybe they’ll make another movie about an old bachelor discovering the error of his ways (Solitary Man, Mercy, About a Boy, Two and Half Men {jk}, etc.).

  1. What woman in NYC hasn’t dated a Joe? I sure have. I blogged the shit out of it when I figured him out- a movie seems unlikely, but I’d bet good money he’ll get dragged around social media when she figures it out.

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