As a single guy who approaches women in person – which is quickly becoming more and more antiquated – I wanted to share my thoughts after recently reading an article posted by the societal blog, Thought Catalog. For all intensive purposes, I kept the format of the blog post the same and casually spliced in my commentary. You can find the original post here.
1. “I have actually been waiting for a guy to say ‘Did it hurt?’ So I can respond by saying, ‘When I fell from heaven, yes, but that line hurt more.’ That would be so satisfying.” —Alexis, 24
I sincerely hope Alexis gets her wish because that would be hilarious. However, this line is much superior than “Girl, are you a junk refrigerator left by the curb with the door still attached? Because I want to put a baby in you.” Although, I enjoy that one as well.
2. “Don’t tap me on the shoulder, especially if we’re in a bar. It’s just weird. If you’re going to say hello, be where I can see you.” —Nichole, 25
This is a great point. If it’s one thing we can learn from Star Wars: Episode IV, it’s that Dr.Evazan and his fly-faced pal Ponda Baba were being dicks to Luke Skywalker in the Mos Eisley cantina. Lest you getting amputated by a lightsaber like Evazan, you best avoid tapping women’s shoulders. Apologies for letting my nerdiest show.
3. “I like a guy who lets me approach him. Give me a couple enticing eye glances so I’m confident you’re interested, and that’s all I need.” —Natalie, 24
As for the remaining 99% of men that know this technique is utterly futile, let me just say that I hear your chuckles and see your eye rolls. It’s like my friend once said to me, “You know man, you just have to be yourself and let the women come to you.” We sat in silence for five seconds, then laughed and laughed.
4. “If he says anything that would come up on Google after searching pickup lines, NOPE.” —Valerie, 23
Wait. Are you searching Google right after someone hits on you? If so, let me retract my statement about a junk refrigerator.
5. “I think it has more to do with the woman you’re approaching. If she’s nice to a fault, she’ll be cordial no matter how you approach her, but if she’s the kind of girl who’s brutally honest and doesn’t care what people think, she could tell you to go screw yourself.” —Rachel, 26
This is the truest comment out of all 14 women. +1
6. “I just like a simple introduction. ‘Hey, I’m (insert name here).’ It’s really not that complicated or awkward.” —Christiana, 24
Oh, how I wish it was that simple. Unfortunately, most men have to conjure up something more eloquent and witty than that in order to avoid insufferable silences or replies of indignation. I truly feel terrible when I get the look (i.e., what the woman in this pic is doing).
7. “Buying me a drink is always a good start, but don’t try to guess what my signature drink is. Let me tell you so I don’t have to pretend to enjoy some fruity concoction you thought I’d love.” —Cate, 25
If this was her first thought when asked how someone should approach women, then screw you Cate. Seriously. Also, who the hell is buying you a drink, guessing what you would like, and not letting you interject with a flirtatious suggestion or hint? Screw those guys as well but I don’t think there are many that do that.
8. “I’m not too judgmental when it comes to how a guy tries to hit on me. It takes balls for him to approach a woman in the first place, so I’m not going to be too hard on him when he does.” —Michelle, 24
I want to high five this gal. If the guy isn’t acting like a pervert and/or a dick, it’s always appreciated if we get the same in return.
9. “Give a compliment, it’s simple. Nothing creepy though, don’t say anything about breasts or ass.” —Bianca, 26
This is a tricky one. First off, if someone doesn’t know you, they most likely have to compliment something material and physical. At this point, your success rate will definitely be choppy. It’s like the Jim Gaffigan skit where he claims that attractive guys can say “Hi” to women and they’ll think, “Oh, he’s nice” but when an uglier guy does the same, they’ll think, “What does he want?”
10. “Tell me I’m pretty. I’ll love you forever.” —Morgan, 23
Looks like Morgan has some deep-rooted insecurity issues. If you weren’t anonymous, I’d give you the number to my therapist :p
11. “I like something funny. If you make me laugh, I’ll want to talk to you.” —Liz, 25
Similar to #9, this is a tough one. Humor is like religion – everyone has their own take on it, even if you’re a fan of the same denomination. Personally, I always find a way to tell a joke less than a minute into the conversation but there is no guarantee that it’ll be gold.
12. “Honesty is always best. If you’re approaching me because you think I look good, then just say that. I’ll take it as a compliment and probably engage in casual conversation after.” —Dayna, 25
Perhaps I should just give the “Hey, you look good” line a try sometime. Granted, it will probably fail miserably but I’d be trying Dayne’s advice and will write about it.
13. “Give me at least a half hour before you try making out with me.” —Zara, 25
Aye aye Zara.
14. “Just be genuine. If you have the confidence to be who you are, then you’ll be fine whether I like you or not.” —Ilana, 26
Oh, how I wish this were ubiquitously true.
-Single Guy in NYC