Let’s get right to it, shall we? Here’s the next batch of self-sexist flaws:
8) Sexual development. Statistically speaking, this can be understood as one of the causes of #9 (misunderstanding women). According to a study published by the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality on gender differences, males are not only more prone to masturbation – which remains consistent throughout their lifetimes – but their first sexual experience generally comes from themselves, whereas most females, initially feel sexual pleasure with another person. Consequently, sexual gratification for men – not to mention a plethora of orgasms – precedes any relationship, which renders a diminished cash value in partnership for some young adult men. To be sure, this is a physiological force to be reckoned with. On average, men’s sex drive peaks before 20 years of age, while a women’s will peak between the ages of 30 and 40. The silver lining for my lascivious gender is not having to deal with unwanted and completely unwarranted erections every 15 minutes anymore. How many erections must a teenage boy deal with at a bloody funeral? This is madness!
7) “Be a man!” Ah, the classic fear of being emasculated. Due to our own personal socialization and rigid societal norms, droves of men from countless generations have suppressed childhood trauma or adulthood shortcomings with substances and/or physical activity. Since when did boxing, as opposed to therapy, become the appropriate outlet for emotional distress stemming from an unloving parent? For one thing, the gratification from boxing is – by comparison – immediately felt. There’s quite a lot one can learn from the sport and from themselves but we have a grand tendency to square our vices in indirect ways. This categorical pressure is put on from everyone, which makes it all the more ironic when heterosexual males are emasculated by their female counterparts for not falling into their stereotyped gender roles. We as a society engineered these gender roles and the circumstances of their failure to satisfy our basic human integrity. (This, too, is madness.) Ask yourself, who was more of a manly figure in Fight Club; Pitt or Norton? Quod erat demonstrandum.
6) Having game. How skilled are you at repartee and picking up women? How many partners have you had? Do you fully satisfy her yet leave her begging for more? The desire for flattering reputations that precedes you when it comes to attracting partners is undeniable in countless social circles. Consider this, my entire blog is based on my failure to get a single date. I’m not talking about trouble finding “the one” or a “good” girl or attending bad Tinder dates – on the contrary, this makes up for 90% of all single/dating blogs authored by women (just an observation here). Therefore, it should come as no surprise that any man known for “having game” is revered and exhorted. Otherwise, Jack Nicholson wouldn’t be so infamous for his off-screen self-indulgences.
5) Sports. This kindling is ubiquitously favored for male-to-male relations. It appears as profitable water cooler banter. It’s the fast food lettuce; the degree-lacking weatherman; the cheap champagne in your mimosa; the holiday regift. It’s a instant IN for most men, by far the easiest way to make friends, and if you’re not familiar, prepare for bite-sized abandonment and cold stares from your male acquaintances. If they can’t talk to you about Tom Brady, what can they talk to you about? Literally anything else? That might be too much to handle.
-Single Guy in NYC